


At Last I See The Light

by rmartin



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Coercion, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2020-06-03 00:25:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19452592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rmartin/pseuds/rmartin
Summary: “I made the official announcement this morning.”“The High Command won't be pleased.” Hux didn't doubt that Ren was offered to marry their own children.Ren didn't seem to mind. “You don't need to worry about that,” he said and placed his glass on the table on his right, motioning Hux to do the same. Then he made Hux stand up and grabbed Hux's chin so that the redhead was forced to look into his face. Ren's free hand moved down, his fingers hovered above the belt of Hux's trousers and Hux's breath hitched when the realization hit him. “What shall I do with you, Armitage? Do tell me. You talked back to me in public. Didn't you mention that your duty is to be an obedient husband?”“We are not yet married.”Ren laughed. “So if I told you now to kiss me, would you?” He had to read the answer in Hux's eyes because he stepped back in the other moment. Hux glared at him and his hand shot up to massage his chin. “I am letting you go for now,” Ren reminded him, not unkindly, but to Hux it felt like a threat. Ren pressed a kiss against the Hux's cheek. “That won't be the case after we get married, Armitage.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you, Sunny. You keep saving me every time - where would I be without you?

They've been hovering above the planet for months. The _Finalizer,_ humming in constant frustration, mirrored just the way Hux felt. He was crunched over the console, checking the coordinates. Without the caffeine to keep his senses sharp, Hux felt hopelessly exhausted. To his frustration, he could not focus on the numbers and had to check the information twice to assure himself that he made no mistake.

He still felt agitated due to events that took place during the morning meeting with Commandant Brendol Hux. Armitage knew the announcement of his marriage was long coming and was more than surprised by the suitor his father decided to choose for him. When he first heard that he was engaged to the Supreme Leader, he was left speechless. With his current status as a bastard son, Hux was well aware that he posed as a disgrace to his father's name and could only hope that none of the higher-ranking officers would find him as a good match. Hux wasn't sure what his father offered to the young Supreme Leader to convince him to take spouse someone such as Armitage.

They still haven't met even though the Supreme Leader had returned back to the _Finalizer_ months ago. Hux managed to catch only glimpses of him as he passed the corridors with the High Command trailing closely behind. He was fairly young, perhaps younger than Armitage himself. The rumors said that he posed as Master of the Knights of Ren before Snoke's death, having been his apprentice. It was common knowledge in the Order that he was the long-lost son of Leia Organa, the so-called Jedi Killer. Those facts were just another reason why Hux didn't want this marriage to go through. He was raised on the beliefs that anything that came from the Republic was bad and even despite Supreme Leader's new allegiance to the Order, to Hux he was still an outsider, as unfair as it was.

Hux tried to get rid of such thoughts, partly because he was too exhausted to think about his new-found situation and partly because he was aware that the Supreme Leader was capable of reading anyone's thoughts – or so they said about the Force users – and Hux wasn't keen on being executed as a traitor. In that case, he could not decide which scenario was worse – to be dead or be turned into the Supreme Leader's whore. He had absolutely no delusions about the way his marriage would look like and knew that marriages in the First Order were often just a political act that left one of the spouses at the mercy of the other. The concept of marriage itself was often connected with infidelity as it was viewed as a common thing, the matrimony being only for public purposes.

Hux blinked, pushing away the bitter feeling of rage and turning his attention back on the numbers. He frowned when he noticed that he skipped a line and had to return in order to make sure that everything was fine. This kind of work was tedious and it seemed to him that it had no end. He generally liked numbers and was good with them. But this late into the resting cycle, when he was left with only a few on the Bridge, Hux felt like even this simple task was becoming too much for him. He turned his head and motioned for Lieutenant Mitaka to approach him. 

“Caf,” he murmured before Mitaka managed to reach him. “No sugar.” 

Mitaka curtly nodded, his legs already moving forward before his body managed to catch up with the movement. He was acquainted with the way Hux liked to take his caf. It occurred to Hux only later that he never thanked the other man for bringing him his caf, but he didn't feel guilty for long. He was sure that Mitaka hardly noticed his lack of gratitude because he would do anything for Hux. It was one of many things Hux planned on exploring later on but for now, was satisfied with the results.

“Here,” Mitaka said upon his return. His cheeks were flushed and Hux knew that he returned as quickly as he could. He left the caf close enough for Hux to easily reach and excused himself for the evening when he realized Hux didn't need anything else from him. Hux didn't waste time and took a gulp of the drink that was offered to him, closing his eyes and frowning at the bitterness that filled his mouth. He didn't feel any more awake than he did a few moments back, but he hoped that the caf would help him keep his senses sharp until he finishes his task and be allowed to retreat to his quarters for the evening.

Hux glanced to the side, noticing that Admiral Jaq just entered the Bridge and saluted when their eyes met. He did his best to hide the sneer that threatened to appear on his lips. Jaq was a bit younger than him and served as a constant reminder that if Hux was born as a legitimate child, he could have held the same position, if not higher. They've known each other since the Academy and the hatred between them was mutual. Hux could still remember when Jaq woke him up one night by wrapping his hands around Hux's throat and almost crushing his windpipe in the process. It was also Jaq who was responsible for the long scar on Hux's wrist, another painful memory of not only being beaten down and bested, but also humiliated. It was the humiliation that Hux could neither forgive nor forget and intended to return one day.

He was glad when Jaq walked past him without the usual need to stop and observe what Hux was doing. It brought Hux a little comfort now when he returned back to checking the coordinates and drumming his fingers against the surface of the desk. His head started to ache and after he gulped down another amount of caf, he felt as if it worsened. 

Hux pressed his fingers against his temples, ruthlessly pressing them against his flesh in hopes it would lessen his headache. It didn't work as he expected. When he turned to push the cup with caf away, he noticed with the corner of his eye a movement towards him, hearing the sweep of a cape. Hux recognized the man who moved in his direction, quickly crossing the distance between them, and Hux reacted instinctively, remembering his lessons from the Academy. 

He stood up and turned around, extending his hand in the process and allowing a dagger to slip out from his sleeve. The blade cut through the air and when he fully turned, he managed to press the tip of it against the stranger's chest, successfully pinning him in place. Hux lowered his head and panted, realizing that his hair slipped on his forehead due to his quick movement to the side. His hand started to shake because of the strong grip he had on the dagger.

He expected complete silence and was surprised when he heard the thunderous sound of his blood inside his ears. There was something else too, the gentle brush of a leather glove inside his mind, calming down his fright and persuading him to lower his weapon. Someone called his name, but Hux didn't react at first. It took him another second or two to recognize the voice. He snapped his head to the side and saw as Jaq neared him, moving quickly. His hand slid down and Hux couldn't tell what he was doing until he saw as Jaq grabbed his blaster and pointed it at Hux's head.

“Step down, Lieutenant!” Jaq commanded and his eyes were red-rimmed, furiously burning. His fingers brushed the trigger and Hux, awaiting the sound of the shot fired, froze. His eyes widened and his hold on the dagger wavered, but he refused to let go of it. Only dimly he realized that the blade managed to cut through the stranger's uniform and Hux turned his head, finally taking a look into the face of a man he had attacked.

He had chocolate eyes and a pale face, dark hair messily brushing his shoulders. One of his hands rose up and he waved it at Jaq, motioning him to step down.

“Supreme Leader,” Admiral Jaq panted, obviously not sharing Supreme Leader's belief that he had everything under control. His stand wavered, and finally, when his superior scowled, he lowered his weapon but didn't stop glaring at Hux.

Hux snapped out of shock when he heard the whisper of that title and the dagger fell to the floor. “Supreme Leader,” he repeated with dread filling him from inside and immediately realizing his mistake. He took a step back and flinched when the Supreme Leader raised his hand. Ren's eyes sparkled. Instead of hitting Hux for his attack or raising his voice, he captured the hand that previously held the dagger that could have ended his life.

“ _Hello, Armitage,_ ” he said, and to Hux's surprise, he pressed a kiss against his palm. “I apologize for not meeting you earlier.”

Hux felt as he flushed, not only at the intimate way Ren greeted him but at the use of his birth name instead of his surname. “Sir,” he said, cursing himself for allowing his voice to waver but unable to regain his composure again.

There was a small smile that appeared on Ren's lips that looked genuine enough. Still holding Hux's hand captive, he pressed another kiss to his palm and hiked up the sleeve of Hux's uniform to press still another to his pulse point on his wrist before releasing his hand. He straightened and only then Hux realized how tall Kylo Ren truly was.

Hux hid his hand behind his back, feeling an unfamiliar burn in the places where Ren's lips touched his skin. His cheeks were bright red, almost matching the color of his hair. He pressed his lips into a thin line, not sure how to react. Hux knew that he would find it more comfortable if Ren treated him coldly and scolded him for daring to attack him. He was also expecting punishment when he felt as Ren leaned in closer, his warm breath ghosting up Hux's neck, so he could whisper directly into Hux's ear.

“It's getting pretty late. I would like to accompany you on your way back to your quarters.” Hux, not daring to tell him that he was not done with his work, only quietly glanced back at the screen of the console. Ren seemed to understand what he meant by that simple movement.

Ren turned to Jaq. “I believe I can borrow Armitage here for a moment, can't I?” Both his tone and his expression suggested that he didn't take no for an answer. Jaq nodded helplessly and returned his blaster behind his belt.

“Without a doubt, sir.” He turned to the console and took Hux's place, quickly taking over his task. Ren turned on his heel and with a smile motioned Hux to follow him. 

Hux felt cornered despite having enough room to move freely. Ren's presence by his side, the threat he still posed towards Hux were hard to forget and Hux found himself fidgeting on their way to his quarters. He wondered what he should do once Ren asked him for permission to enter, and prepared a dismissive answer.

But the Supreme Leader seemed relaxed. Hux tried to discreetly study his face multiple times, but found no trace of anger. He deduced that the Supreme Leader all but forgot about Hux's mistaken attempt to murder him, and even if he didn't, he simply decided to ignore it for a little longer. Hux couldn't tell whether they were just lucky not to run into anyone or if Ren kept the corridors empty with his Force-powers. To save himself from thinking too much, Hux decided to focus on the task at hand.

Almost unconsciously, he kept brushing his palm, pressing his fingers into places where Ren kissed him. Hux's never been kissed before – and just the simple touch of Ren's lips made him crave more despite his terror of being touched by a stranger. There was only a little Hux could do if Ren decided that he wanted to sleep with him as was his right now that they were to be married. 

Hux was already dreading to imagine their wedding night and promised to himself that he would fight when Ren decided to bed him. He knew exactly what to expect, especially after his father explained to him what was to happen, and Hux refused to participate in the ceremony even if it meant he'd go against a superior officer.

Ren, unaware of Hux's messy thoughts, didn't speak at all. He seemed to be focusing on something else entirely and only looked to the other man once they reached Hux's quarters. Hux opened his mouth to wish him good night but his attempt to part from Ren was shattered when Ren flickered his wrist and the door leading inside his quarters opened soundlessly. Hux froze, Ren's hand sliding down his back as he nudged Hux to move forward. They stepped inside and Hux glanced backward, suddenly realizing that he was without any weapon. 

The door closed and Ren swiftly moved forward, as if he knew where he was going. He unbuttoned his jacket and moved into the living room. When he noticed that Hux wasn't with him, he turned around, still smiling softly and motioned Hux to come closer.

“Sir,” Hux said with hesitation after he moved and was surprised when Ren reached forward and grabbed the front of his jacket. The sudden movement frightened Hux and he lost his balance. His hands shot up and landed on Ren's chest which prevented Hux from falling down and making a fool of himself. Ren hummed as he took off Hux's gloves one by one and then pressed another kiss against Hux's palms, this time acting more shyly about it. 

“You're confused, I can tell.” Ren seemed to be eager to discuss the matter with Hux. He sat down on the sofa, took hold of Hux's hips and brought him closer so that Hux was left standing while Ren watched from below. He looked younger with his hair curling around his temples and soft sparks of light dancing in his eyes. His thumbs brushed Hux's hipbones and it seemed that Ren was eager to take the clothes off him but held himself back. “You are very thin,” Ren said after a moment of observation. “Aren't you hungry? I could order something to eat.”

“No.” Hux flinched when he realized how cold those words sounded but again Ren didn't seem to mind. He even laughed to Hux's dismay and leaned back, so that his back was resting against the sofa. He sighed.

Hux allowed him to hold him for a moment longer and then he took a step back. Ren watched him silently. “Your father said you're an obedient boy,” he murmured. “And yet you think that _you_ are allowing me to touch you.”

“With all due respect. Sir,” Hux felt as his senses started to return to him. “It's my body and my quarters. I'll set the rules from now on.” He gritted his teeth, mentally preparing himself for a slap that never came. Ren merely shrugged.

“I think that's fair,” he grinned. “Look at that,” he said when he suddenly stood up and came closer. Hux bared his teeth in defense. Ren's gloved fingers shot up and brushed Hux's lips. “You have lovely sharp teeth, _Armitage._ Do you know how to use them?”

Hux bit into his finger in answer. Ren seemed to expect it, keeping his expression calm but his eyes lit up. His free hand sneaked down and wrapped around Hux's waist. He brought him closer, so close that their chests were pressed against each other. Hux whined, relaxing his jaw and allowing Ren's finger to slide out. He wanted to brush away the saliva that started to drip down his chin but Ren didn't allow him to. He cocked his head and nosed the side of Hux's throat. He experimentally pressed his lips against the tender flesh there. Hux felt as his breath hitched. When Ren pulled away, he expected to be kissed but Ren merely shook his head and squeezed Hux's body for the last time before he let him go and returned back on the sofa. Hux's cheeks flushed and he felt as his knees started to shake. He despised the Supreme Leader for coaxing such a reaction out of him and at the same time, he wanted to experience more of it. He'd never been touched this tenderly before and he gritted his teeth, willing his body into obedience despite not wanting to.

“Sit down,” Ren said, but it didn't sound like a command. He patted on the empty space next to his side though Hux already imagined himself seated in Ren's lap. “I want to talk.” Hux found himself nodding, but refused to sit next to Ren. It seemed to amuse the Supreme Leader to no end. The silence stretched over them and Hux knew that Ren was just testing his impatience. Instead of showing his discomfort about the whole situation, Hux chose to keep his features without expression and his mind clear of any thought, now that he was convinced that Ren was capable of reading his them.

Ren grunted. “I see. Not many can keep their secrets away from me.” It seemed to Hux that Ren was just toying with him. He soon understood he was right when he noticed the small smirk that appeared on Ren's lips after he said those words. Hux cautiously watched the man in front of him, being able to deduce the tactic Ren was using. Hux was a patient man though, and he was prepared to outwait Ren if it was necessary. After the discovery that Hux understood what Ren was planning, the Supreme Leader just shrugged. Hux realized with disdain that this was all just a clever way of assuming just how smart Hux was.

“Your father informed you of my proposal,” Ren opened the conversation and Hux understood that the phase of observing each other was over and Ren was prepared to talk about business. Hux wished to sneer, wanting to mention that Brendol didn't interpret Ren's words as a proposal but as a deal and didn't give Hux much choice over the matter. What was required of Hux was to show up and pose as a suitable spouse for the Supreme Leader, underlined with a meaning that he was to keep Ren satisfied while he was interested and any indication of disinterest was be taken as a failure on Hux's side. The thought of being whored on his father's account made Hux seethe in rage.

“He didn't mention when the ceremony will take place,” Hux gritted out and shifted. _Or why did you choose me?_ He was certain that it was a question worth asking. He wondered if Brendol had something to hold over Ren and keep him in line but refused to believe so. He doubted that Brendol would be alive if he dared to blackmail a Force-sensitive. There was something else Ren hoped to gain by this union that Hux could not put his finger on.

“I haven't decided yet.” There was that strange gleam in Ren's eyes. “I decided to keep it a secret before you'll be informed. The official announcement will happen tomorrow. I want the ceremony to be over as quickly as possible but unfortunately, it's a big event. High Command already consulted the matter with me and we decided it would be best to make our wedding public. It's a way to keep our allies and to gain new ones.” He tapped his fingers against his thigh. “Of course, I am waiting for your consent.”

Hux blinked, bewildered. He disliked the tone Ren used, already aware that he had only little to say in the matter of his own future from now on. He didn't doubt that Brendol already took care of everything and Ren, though he was giving Hux's options, already made his decisions along with his advisors. 

“It's settled then, isn't it?” He almost didn't notice as something inside Ren's eyes softened. “Am I required to move from my quarters?”

“No, it won't be necessary. Not until you are officially my husband. The wedding will take place away from the ship. The honeymoon will be a short one, but I am sure you'll enjoy it. After that, yes, we'll share quarters. You must understand that we must be viewed as an example of a happy marriage. You will be promoted, of course, to some rank more suitable for your new-found position.”

“That's not necessary.” Hux saw that his request surprised Ren. “I don't want to be promoted just because I'll spread my legs for the Supreme Leader. That's not exactly how I wanted my career to advance.” Hux stubbornly looked Ren in the eye. “You're too kind, Supreme Leader. But I am not a man easily softened by gifts.”

“I was not hoping to soften you,” Ren cocked his head to the side, justifying his actions. “Think of my offer. I won't force you to take the title if you don't want to.” He stood up, swiftly as he did everything else, and clasped his hands together. “I believe I have another meeting soon. It was nice meeting you, Armitage,” he crossed the room and once again captured Hux's hand. He squeezed it and pressed a kiss against Hux's palm. Hux involuntary shivered. “I think it's possible for us to find common ground,” he whispered as he let go of Hux's hand. A shadow passed through his expression, but his eyes remained soft. “I think I made the right choice after all.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sunny, you have no idea how glad I am to have you by my side :) I don't think I can ever thank you enough. You are the BEST! 
> 
> Major Weinthal, I am so glad I made the decision to marry you. You're one of the most amazing people I've ever met in my life and I am eternally glad for having a chance to get to know you. Hdl für immer und ewig ❤️

Supreme Leader was walking with a tall, brown-haired man by his side the very next time they saw each other. Hux managed to hear the last sentence they exchanged before their conversation was cut off by his arrival. Ren, once more, reached for Hux's hand and pressed a lingering kiss against the leather of Hux's glove. He squeezed it gently then and finally let go.

“I believe you've never had a chance to meet Shiro before,” Ren said as he turned to his companion and tugged Hux forward in the process. The Knight bowed his head but otherwise reacted to Hux's presence in silence. Unlike Ren, he seemed to be tense and Hux could not help but notice that he was frowning. It occurred to him only then that Ren was maybe one of few that saw advantage – if there was any – in marrying someone of Hux's status.

Hux, grasping his chance, offered Shiro a cold smile, hiding his disdain under a mask of politeness. He felt as Ren's hand brushed his hip and momentarily squeezed it. “You know what to do,” Ren addressed Shiro. “Send for Zara. I want to have Armitage surrounded by my own.” Hux froze, realizing they were talking about him.

“I think I will be perfectly safe without the assistance of your Knights.” Almost forgetting himself, Hux forced himself to smile apologetically. “Sir.” Ren looked at him, once again slightly smiling as if Hux was a pet showing its teeth and he found it strangely amusing. It became clear that nothing Hux said affected Ren in any way. It seemed that Hux was just snarling, showing his teeth without an intention to bite but Hux wanted to prove to Ren that he wasn't about to play obedient husband without a good fight.

“You are to become my husband,” Ren reminded him patiently and petted Hux's side. “It's only suitable –“

“I don't believe that your Knights are more capable than my father's men. After all, it would just show that you don't trust your own officers.” He saw as the corner of Ren's eye twitch and Hux felt smug when he realized that there was something that could spoil Ren's mood. “I think I will be quite safe among my own.” He moved out of Ren's reach, effectively creating distance between their bodies. Ren didn't attempt to touch him again. There was a shadow that befell his eyes and it soon became clear that he was displeased with Hux refusing to play the game by his rules.

“He has claws,” Shiro noted, evidently amused. “I can't remember the last man who dared to stand against you, Master.” He narrowed eyes as if wanted to see Hux from closer. It was evident that he became interested. “For such a small thing he doesn't seem fragile at all.” Ren laughed, showing all of his teeth. There is nothing sincere about that sound and Hux understood that he hit the nerve. He held tightly onto his victory as he was spun around and Ren's arms wrapped around him, seemingly never satisfied. Ren generally struck Hux as a man who's never been satisfied at all.

They moved together, Ren half-dragging Hux with him. It surprised Hux that even though Ren was visibly displeased with his performance in front of his Knight, his touch remained gentle thorough their way into Ren's quarters. Ren wasn't as eager as he was the previous day to show off his fiancé and Hux had to admit that he didn't want to be seen, hanging on the Supreme Leader's arm. Ren opened the door leading into his personal space and allowed Hux to enter first by pressing his hand against Hux's lower back as he guided him.

“There is no need for that,” Hux told him and shrugged off his greatcoat. “You don't need to act that gently with me. I understand my position in this union perfectly.” His father had his say about that too. Brendol tirelessly reminded Hux that this marriage could be ended as quickly as it was proposed and Hux was to assure that Ren was satisfied with his performance.

“You do? Ah, yes. Well, tell me what your position is?” He poured Hux and himself a glass of whiskey and brought it to Hux. Then he motioned the redhead to sit on the couch while he stood. Hux, who wanted to talk but was unable to find the right words, stared at Ren, stunned. He winced when a glass of alcohol was pressed into his hand but managed to hold onto it tightly.

Ren took off his gloves. Then sipped from his drink. Hux couldn't tear his eyes off Ren's fingers, long and white and elegant. “I am to obey you. My duty is to keep appearances. I am to play your husband even though I am not capable of providing you with an heir.” Hux fixed his eyes on Ren's face, looking for the Supreme Leader's expression.

“Are you suggesting that I chose wrong?” Ren cocked his head to the side, quietly teasing.

“I am merely correcting your expectations. Sir.” Hux found himself wishing for Ren to break off the marriage. Spending the rest of his life in a position that barely suited him now seemed better than whoring himself for the good… Hux paused. He could not think for whose good he did this except for his father's.

“I am not expecting you to get pregnant,” Ren pointed out after a long moment of silence. Hux used it to taste the whiskey Ren offered to him. He felt as the burning liquid filled his mouth and gulped it down. The warm feeling spread across his chest like a wildfire. “That doesn't mean you'll escape my attentions, no. I understand that you are a disgrace.” Ren narrowed his eyes. “A bastard.” Hux winced. “It makes a little difference to me. I carefully chose you – out of thousands of candidates.” Ren leaned forward, whispering. “Do not think for one second that I chose you on impulse.”

That confession sent shivers running down Hux's spine. “I think I understand now, sir.” He didn't even try to understand.

Ren didn't seem to believe him. “Do you?” he asked but Hux could tell that this question didn't require any answer. Ren reached into the pocket of his trousers and took out a small box. He opened it and Hux saw a golden ring resting inside. He suddenly understood and leaned closer. Ren took his hand and slid the ring on Hux's finger.

“I made the official announcement this morning.”

“The High Command won't be pleased.” Hux didn't doubt that Ren was offered to marry their own children.

Ren didn't seem to mind. “You don't need to worry about that,” he said and placed his glass on the table on his right, motioning Hux to do the same. Then he made Hux stand up and grabbed Hux's chin so that the redhead was forced to look into his face. Ren's free hand moved down, his fingers hovered above the belt of Hux's trousers and Hux's breath hitched when the realization hit him. “What shall I do with you, Armitage? Do tell me. You talked back to me in public. Didn't you mention that your duty is to be an obedient husband?”

“We are not yet married.”

Ren laughed. “So if I told you now to kiss me, would you?” He had to read the answer in Hux's eyes because he stepped back in the other moment. Hux glared at him and his hand shot up to massage his chin. “I am letting you go for now,” Ren reminded him, not unkindly, but to Hux it felt like a threat. Ren pressed a kiss against the Hux's cheek. “That won't be the case after we get married, Armitage.”

*

“No,” Hux shook his head wildly. His hands moved down and he started to unbutton the buttons of his robe, taking it off as quickly as he could. He swatted away Shiro's hands which earned him a loud growl from the Knight but Hux paid it no mind.

“Give me back my uniform,” he said, knowing that he was already red in face and turned towards Zara, another of Ren's Knights. She was leaning against the wall, braiding her long hair. When he addressed her, she raised her head to look at him but otherwise didn't move at all. Unlike Shiro, she wasn't bulky but slim and reminded Hux of a young girl even though she was older than he was. Hux huffed in frustration and the crossed the room, looking for his greatcoat to cover up his bare flesh but couldn't find it.

“Where is it, dammit?”

Shiro made a low sound in the back of his throat and Hux stiffened, thinking that the older man was in the middle of a heart attack but soon realized that the Knight was laughing. “Uniforms don't do you any justice,” he said after he was done and Zara came to stand by his side, casually brushing the lightsaber attached to her belt. “You are just skin and bone as one would say. You are quite small too, petite even. Not woman-like, no, but close to it.” Shiro then cocked his head to the side, trying to convince Hux to stop snarling.

“You saw yourself in the mirror,” he added. “You looked pretty.”

Hux knew that Shiro was right. The robes weren't half bad except they were made from silk and exposed the back of his back and his arms and when he looked closer, he knew that his nipples were visible. “I look like a whore,” he gritted out, unsatisfied not only with the overall look of his wedding attire but also with the color. On Hux's home planet, both the bride and the groom were meant to wear black color and even in the Order participants usually wore just fancier type of their uniform. Hux didn't understand why he needed to look different. He couldn't remember the last time he had on something that wasn't his precious uniform and suddenly became aware that he was in fact small and thin,  _ thin as a slip of paper and just as – _

“I think that's the way you should look like,” Zara joined the conversation. “You should be tempting. Master has a certain preference when it comes to his partners.”

Hux's eyes widened in disbelief. “I refuse to. If he wants a whore, he can go to a brothel to find one but I will not play that role dammit. I am an officer of the First Order. Not some – “

He turned on his heel and started to walk towards the door. Shiro moved and grabbed his forearm to stop him. “Where do you think you're going?” he asked, narrowing his eyes in suspicion as if there was some place Hux could run and hide. Hux bared his teeth, wishing he could strangle the man in front of him.

“I am feeling rather tired,” Hux lied smoothly. It didn't matter that Shiro didn't seem to believe him. “I think I'll go into my quarters and rest.” Shiro let him go. They couldn't hold him here as Hux was no prisoner. Even Ren mentioned to his Knights that they should treat Hux with respect and if he didn't count with Hux openly disagreeing with them… well, it wasn't Hux's problem. He saw as Shiro set his jaw and he and Zara shared a look. Then Shiro nodded, granted Hux his permission to leave.

Hux huffed, relieved that he managed to get rid of them and walked out of the door. He hurried into his quarters, hoping that no one will see him in such an outfit. Hux couldn't honestly tell if there's ever been someone in the Order who dared to put on such clothes. Fancy uniforms weren't uncommon but they hardly revealed anything. There was hardly a point in showing off one's skin and usually, it was an intimate act, shared behind the closed doors. Hux was sure that the High Command would too protest against this idea and hopefully, they would be capable to keep their Supreme Leader in line. There were simply some traditions that simply should not be broken even with the advance of the age.

Hux took off his wedding robes after he entered his quarters and carelessly threw them over his sofa. He put back on his uniform, feeling secure once more. The idea of a traditional wedding struck in his mind and he found himself standing in front of the mirror to carefully examine himself. Shiro was right. Hux was thin, perhaps painfully so, tall and very pale. While the uniform was capable of masking those imperfections, Ren's robes certainly didn't have this ability and it frustrated Hux to no end. He brushed his hair, allowing it to freely fall on his forehead.

He imagined himself in a different situation, with a husband pressing against him, with his hands atop of Hux's hips. Hux could not decide what type of man he would prefer as there was no time for him to find out. Perhaps a bit taller, strong and muscular. He imagined his husband to press a kiss against the side of his neck, on the place where Hux's skin was the most sensitive. Shivers ran down Hux's spine and he shook his head, getting rid of the daydream. He found himself alone again, hopelessly staring at his own reflection.

Hux reached for his datapad. He played with the idea of writing Ren a quick message to complain about his wedding attire but in the end, decided against it. He was sure that Shiro will inform his Master about Hux's refusal to be dressed that way and already expected Ren to arrive in the evening to scold him perhaps. Hux couldn't decide whether he should fear Ren or not. He was aware that the Supreme Leader wasn't known for his merciful nature and even before he seized the powers, rumors said about him that he was a brute and a monster.

Hux already prepared himself for the possibility of being at Ren's mercy more than he was now. His father taught him early on that one must always suffer through the pain, especially when they were born as Hux was.

He angrily tossed his datapad aside and moved away from the mirror.

*****

Just as expected, Ren wasn't pleased with Hux's complaints. He stopped by to check if Hux was wearing the ring he gave to him and to his surprise, he was. As per usual, Ren started their meeting by pressing a kiss against Hux's palm which made Hux feel uneasy. This time, they weren't hidden behind the locked door and the realization of their relationship becoming public made Hux feel dreadful. He noticed the certain way people started to look at him as if they knew and understood his situation better than he did.

“Zara told me you don't like your wedding robes,” Ren told him as he guided Hux through the ship. “She also told me you looked beautiful while wearing them.” Hux scowled at that. He already dreaded the moment when he'll be forced to wear that joke of clothes again.

“I look like a whore,” he said, keeping his voice low in case someone was listening. He turned his head to the side and found out that Ren wasn't looking at him at all. Their pace quickened. “I was raised a soldier and I still have dignity even though – “

“Even though?” Ren prompted him to continue but Hux refused. He gritted his teeth and look elsewhere, aware that Ren understood the implication. “Even though we're getting married. Well,” Ren forced Hux to face him again, gently prompting him to look back. They stopped walking. “I'll consider it but I want something in return.”

Hux's eyes narrowed. “What is it, sir?” he asked, keeping his voice low. He could already imagine a number of things Ren could want from him. He was prepared to refuse immediately, his dignity be damned.

“Kiss me.”

Hux blinked at the request. “Kiss you?” he repeated, uncertain. He didn't want to admit he's never kissed anyone in his life and hoped that Ren wouldn't be able to tell. Ren nodded, smirking. He seemed like he knew that he's just managed to corner Hux. He was asking much but he still got what he wanted.

Hux opened his mouth, drawing in a sharp breath and was startled when Ren's lips collided with his own. The kiss itself lasted only for a few moments. Ren's tongue teased Hux's lips, tightly pressed together until he relented and parted them, allowing Ren's tongue to slip inside. When they parted, Hux was breathless.

“That was your first kiss, wasn't it?” Ren asked, stroking Hux's cheek. Hux felt as he blushed. He tried to shake his head, refusing to admit his own weakness. He licked his lips and took a step back, knowing that Ren won't try to stop him.

“You just caught me off guard,” he murmured after a moment of awkward silence. He could tell that Ren didn't believe his lie because he smirked and showed his perfect white teeth, glittering as he moved closer.

“Is that so?” he wondered, voice sweet as honey.

Too late Hux realized there was nothing sweet about Ren. Hux nodded and nervously took a step back, feeling crowded. Ren's eyes followed him but fortunately, Ren didn't move. He was slightly smirking, aware that he managed to corner Hux.

“Goodnight.” Hux hid his hands behind his back, hoping that Ren won't reach for them with an intention to press a kiss on Hux's knuckles. He made sure that the movement was subtle but at the same time noticeable for someone like Ren. The silence hung heavily between them for a while. “Sir,” Hux corrected his previous slip of the tongue and lowered his head.

“That won't do.” Ren didn't seem displeased at all. “We are to be married,  _ Armitage _ , and they all need to believe that we are in love.” Finally, he moved closer as he'd previously attempted and tilted Hux's head to the side. Then he lowered his head down, parted his lips as if he wanted to kiss his fiancé but he didn't. He laughed in joy, showed off his white teeth – the canines of a hunter.  _ “Kylo.” _

“Kylo,” Hux repeated with a gulp.

Hux moved his hand, knowing that all he needed to do now was to slowly push it in Ren's direction and catch the slipping dagger from his sleeve, then ram its pointy end into Ren's abdomen. He could already imagine the blood soaking through his Supreme Leader's clothes, the shock and the anger, the life escaping his eyes until they turned empty.

_ But what would happen to me then? _

“Yes,” Ren leaned closer, his lips brushed the shell of Hux's ear and the Lieutenant already knew that Ren saw his traitorous thoughts. “What would happen to you then?” 


	3. Chapter 3

Kylo Ren could feel her confusion as if it was his own. He toyed with her for a little longer, until he grew bored of this little game. “Don't worry, Captain,” he murmured then. “I'd like to remind you that this meeting goes off records. And I am offering.”

Captain Phasma finally took the glass and seated where she was, Ren could see that her lips twitched as she grew aware that she was trapped in the room with the most dangerous man in the galaxy. Her helmet, usually covering her face was now resting on her knees but the hands holding it were nervously shifting, fingers were twitching. She was rather pretty, not in that usual way, of course. But there was something about her that made Phasma attractive.

Ren observed her for a while, knowing that the absence of any sound would crack her armor better than any weapon could. At some point, Phasma was smart enough to discover what kind of game he was playing and sipped her wine, licking her lips afterward but nothing she did, appealed to him sexually or otherwise. Both became aware that they failed at beating their opponent and so the tension between them shifted.

Ren relaxed his stance and cocked his head to the side, trying to convince her that he wouldn't hurt her in this position. “I see that my fiancé likes to surround himself with only those who can actually think.” He revealed this way the direction he planned to lead this conversation. “I met his assassin the other day. Tritt Opan, I think. Yes. He was a very quiet man, but from the way he observed me…” Ren knew that Hux's assassins meant no real danger for him. He could read Opan's intentions before the man himself realized what he was thinking about. Mentioning that he knew that Armitage was already working against him made Phasma momentarily tense but as she saw that Ren didn't plan to threaten her, she understood that he knew for some time now and decided that his fiancé's attempts to get rid of him would end up unsuccessfully.

Now, with Phasma's attention turned on him, Ren could continue with this conversation, this time convinced he would get what he came for.

He reached for his own glass, swirled it in his hand and carefully watched as the wine moved but didn't spill. “Did you know why I chose him?” Ren asked Phasma without looking at her. “I would like to be honest with you. Armitage didn't make it on the top of the list, actually, he wasn't on the list at all. Some might with his connection to Brendol Hux revolting, especially now when we all know that his father failed. I suspect that Brendol is well aware of this fact and grabbed the first chance he got to get closer to me and win my favor.”

Ren was warned before that Armitage wasn't the right match for him – after all, he was a bastard and had only a little worth in the eyes of the First Order. High Command wanted to seize the opportunity and get rid of him and his father rather quickly and they would succeed had Ren not stepped in and announced his plans in regard to marrying the younger Hux. Of course, it didn't go smoothly at first and Ren found necessary to remind the High Command that they were bound to obey him.

“Why then?” Phasma asked.

“It wasn't the mercy of course,” Ren admitted grimly. “I saw his intellect. A man like that was not born to be cast aside, turn into nothing. I saw his greatness before anyone else – and I wondered if there is a way to win him over. There is. I thought it'll be much harder. I wonder how long his father abused him. He flushes every time I touch him. At first, it troubled me, made me believe that I was doing something wrong and that he didn't feel attracted to me. But then I realized that he was flushed not because he didn't want me to touch him, on the contrary. He craves my touch, my voice, my affection. He is prideful, stubborn but also lonely and broken.”

Ren stood up and kneeled in front of Phasma. “He thinks he has me but in reality I have him.” Phasma stiffened when he touched her cheek and gently brushed it. She didn't flush as he expected, only looked at him.

“Sir?” she asked and awaited what will happen next.

“I know he wants to kill his father.” Ren hummed. Her eyes widened when he said it out loud but she didn't move at all. She clearly didn't expect that he knew so much about them, about Hux. “I want to make a deal with you. I know people like you, you don't feel any kind of loyalty towards him. You go after power and like me, you evaluated that he would be the one to give it to you. I don't doubt that if I promise you more, you'll change the sides quickly.”

“I don't – “

“You do. Now, I want you to work for me. Armitage trusts you for now, as much as he can. I need someone to keep an eye on him, keep him out of the trouble. First of all, I wouldn't want to hurt him even though he's getting on my nerves. I know that he told you to kill me.”

Phasma's voice hitched. “I suspect that working with you will spare my life, sir. Am I correct?”

Ren had to admit that he liked her. Phasma proved to him once again that she was heartless when it came to such matters as this one and he could rely on that she could serve him well if it meant she would save herself in process.

“Yes, captain.” He stood up slowly, making sure not to touch her in any way. There was no longer any point in trying to appeal to her. He got what he wanted and that was the only thing that mattered.

*

Ren didn't bother to announce his presence once he strode inside his quarters. Perhaps because he was used to living alone and the change that came with having a fiancé made clear that he didn't want to change his habits. Hux was waiting for him in the living room like he did almost every evening. He was scrolling through his datapad, not noticing Ren's presence until the other man coughed.

Hux looked up and his movements froze. His expression remained blank but Ren suspected that Hux didn't expect Ren to come back this soon. He lowered his datapad and locked it. Ren raised his eyebrow in warning, making the other man aware that if the Supreme Leader wanted to find the secrets Hux was keeping from him, he could do so easily only with his mind. Ren avoided using the Force to make Hux things he didn't want to just because he found unnecessary to force him when there were other ways to ensure Hux's obedience. But if the situation required, if Hux decided to disobey him and endanger that way Ren's safety…

“Is it forbidden now?” Hux asked bitterly and stood up slowly. He placed his datapad on the couch where he previously sat and turned his attention on his husband-to-be. “I am not getting into your way. There's no need to concern yourself.”

Ren would like to disagree but that was a discussion for another time. “Perhaps,” he admitted darkly, silently warning Hux that it was not over and took off his jacket. Hux misunderstood Ren's intention and wanted to move past him, perhaps retire into his own quarters for the night but Ren wouldn't let him. He grabbed Hux's hand, making sure not to damage the skin. Hux yelped but stopped moving and looked into Ren's face questioningly. It was clear that the redhead didn't feel comfortable with Ren touching him. He clearly knew that he was in a disadvantage this time, his blaster or dagger would do nothing to harm Ren.

“I've done nothing wrong.” Ren felt his fear, his terror. He raised his hand, intending to brush Hux's cheek but Hux flinched violently. “Stop it,” he whispered and then closed his eyes, unable to look at Ren anymore. For the first time since they've met, Ren had a feeling that there was so much more to Hux than it met the eye and that perhaps there still were things Ren didn't know. He listened to Hux's plea and let the other man go.

“Sit down,” he murmured, softer than he intended to and Hux obeyed his command, still shaken up. His face was pale and sweaty and when he opened his eyes again, they seemed less sharp. Hux kept his gaze lowered down, his red hair fell on his forehead and made him look unlike himself, messy, wild, soft.

“I won't ask you,” Ren said, keeping his voice calm though he felt shocked. “It's your secret and I can't change the fact that it's only yours to tell me.”

“Mine? Nothing's ever been mine before. Why should I trust you?”

Ren said nothing. There was no point in assurances. He doubted that Hux wanted to hear them anyway. It was clear that he was eager to escape Ren's presence as quickly as possible and Ren would otherwise let him if he didn't know that Hux would be coming after him again. He was fascinated by his fiancé's stubbornness. He couldn't believe that someone so slim and seemingly so fragile had just enough guts to stand up to him.

Perhaps choosing Hux wasn't a mistake after all.

The man proved to be difficult but surely useful. Ren was after his sharp mine after all. He glanced on Hux's datapad. He could take it but there was no pleasure in taking something someone gave him unwillingly. He wanted Hux to submit to him, believe that Ren was the only person he needed, who could save him. Ren was after Hux's heart as well, his soul. Not just his body. Hux was a soldier and he would surely obey orders if he was forced to but it wouldn't mean that he is loyal to the cause.

“I wanted to warn you.”

“So not to fuck me then?” Hux's smile was crooked.

Ren only smirked. „I already told you. I will fuck you, not right now though. I will marry you and after that, you'll be my pretty husband and I will be able to do anything I want with you. Do not fear, darling.” He reached down and kissed the back of Hux's hand. “There's still time for our pleasure. I will make you scream, you will beg me for more.”

Hux frowned. His cheeks were bright red and Ren could tell that he was embarrassed. He was still uncomfortable when imagining what the wedding night might bring. He was skittish when Ren mentioned it the first time and Ren wondered if he would be able to fulfill his promise. It would require to have Hux to trust him and Hux proved himself to be very difficult to cooperate with.

“I know what you're planning to do.” Hux remained motionless. It took another moment for the realization to hit him. Even then he didn't allow his façade to slip.

“I have no idea what you're talking about.”

Ren smirked when he heard that lie. “You think you'll be able to kill me? You are a smart man, you surely must know that you won't succeed.” Hux shivered when Ren wrapped his hands around Hux's throat. “You remind me of a bird, small and fragile. Your wings are broken. You cannot escape me now.”

Hux sighed. “Is that so?” He didn't look defeated, he simply looked like he knew what Ren was talking about.

“Perhaps there are other things you should concern yourself with. Your life won't end once we are married. I don't want to hold you on a leash, if I wanted some obedient pet I would choose someone befitting that position. I expect you to fulfill your duty and that means that I expect us to form some kind of relationship. I will not have a husband who can't stand me.”

“Then perhaps you shouldn't have forced me into this!” Hux growled. His cheeks turned red from anger this time. „You treat me like some kind of a whore.“ There was coldness in his eyes, something that made him look like his older self again. “I can be much more than this. I deserve so much more than this.”

“Than what?”

“To be your bed-warmer. Expected to wait for you with my legs spread wide. You require my respect but have you thought about earning it? How can I not hate the man who took my future away from me?”

Ren doubted that he was the real reason why Hux would never rise to the rank of the General as he wanted to. He heard that Brendol wanted to get rid of his son and if Ren didn't claim him as his own, Hux would probably end with someone else. He couldn't avoid this fate. Perhaps it was unfair because Hux wasn't responsible for the way he came to this world but there also was nothing he could change about it.

“I've never taken anything for you. You still have a future. Perhaps not the future you wanted but you can change your life anyway. You are not my slave and I am not asking that of you.” Hux blinked, divided between trusting Ren's words and calling him a liar. It was clear that Ren's offer could give him more power than he's ever imagined and yet it sounded too good to be real.

“If I am to be your husband,” he murmured, thinking it through. “I could agree to play your game. I would pretend that I am in love you, I would stop trying to kill you.” His voice broke and it looked like it pained Hux to even admit it. “But I want something in return.”

Ren said nothing. He knew that he wasn't in the position to fulfill Hux's requirements but despite it, he grew curious. He nodded in Hux's direction, motioning the other man to speak. Hux took a deep breath and folded his hands behind his back, assuming the position in which he felt secure. With his back straight and eyes once again sharp, it was clear that he came up with a new plan. “If am going to do something for you, then I want you to do something for me as well. I won't ask for much but there are things the Supreme Leader can do without being in danger of being executed.” This caught Ren's attention.

He laughed. If Hux was someone else, he wouldn't even waste his time to hear those conditions. This was proving to provide him with some excitement. “Very well,” he agreed. “But if you want to earn favor with me, I want your full devotion. There is nothing you won't do to please me. If you won't manage to please me, then the deal is over and you won't get a new one.” Hux extended his hand towards Ren, probably wanting to shake it but Ren stopped him with a shake of his head.

“I want a kiss.” In reality, he wanted to test Hux's devotion. Hux looked at him with narrowed eyes but when leaned forward and to Ren's surprised, pressed a chaste kiss against Ren's lips. He wanted to pull away but Ren didn't allow him to. He wrapped his hands around Hux's middle and pressed him closer against his chest. Hux made a small sound of complaint but once Ren bit into his bottom lip and he was forced to open his mouth wider, he melted against Ren's hold. Ren smirked, still moving his lips and his hands traveled down. They settled atop Hux's sides, making him note that his fiancé was just skin and bone.

Finally, he allowed Hux to slip from his embrace. “Now,” Hux murmured panting, with his lips swollen and cheeks slightly flushed. “You owe me.”

“I do now, don't I?” Ren cocked his head to the side and waited for Hux to voice out his wish. The redhead was quiet for a moment.

“Admiral Jaq,” he murmured softly. “I want you to kill him.”

Ren didn't expect this but he couldn't tell why he felt surprised. “You are a vicious little thing, aren't you?”

Hux's shoulders tensed. “Will you do it or not?” He bared his teeth like a feral dog, prepared to fight Ren at any cost. He looked betrayed for a moment, clearly thinking that Ren used him in order to get what he wanted and now planned to leave Hux hanging. Ren raised his hand in the air and shook his head to lessen Hux's worries.

“I made a deal with you, didn't I? I will keep my word. Though I must say that I am curious. I thought you wanted to kill him with your bare hands. And now you're sending me to finish the job.” He smirked, aware that Hux was watching his every movement.

“It doesn’t matter who spills his blood as long as he is dead. If I did it, someone would surely find out and I wouldn't be in a lot of trouble. But you are the Supreme Leader. You are always right. If you decide to kill him, who would be there to stop you?”

There was darkness in his eyes. Ren laughed and nodded. “Indeed. Who would?”

*

Admiral Jaq died the very next morning. His body was found in his quarters, his throat slashed open. Ren didn't bother to hide his signature. There was no point in hiding his crime if there was no one to judge him.

Jaq's death was quick, Ren wasn't in the mood to play with him for long. He just moved his hand, the blade of his lightsaber took care of the rest. He promised to himself that this would be the last time he did such a thing in exchange for a single kiss. Perhaps just for the beginning, Hux needed to see what Ren was capable of but later he planned to force the redhead to do much more than just open his mouth and stand there without moving.

After all, he had to dirty his hands and it was now expected that Hux would give him a good reason to do so.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very dark and it contains descriptions of abuse. I am warning you, just to be sure. Abuse is not between Hux and Ren.

Hux was tense all morning.

He was already up when Ren entered the small kitchen, wearing just the pants of his uniform. He must have noticed that Hux was frowning at him because he stopped and looked at his fiancé, ignoring the tension in the room.

“Don't be like that,” he muttered because it was very early. “There is nothing I could have done. After all, I've just woken up.” He yawned and for a split second, he didn't look like the man Hux was supposed to marry. There was no darkness in Ren's face, no warning for Hux to keep in line otherwise he'll get punished just like the rest. He looked like a normal man and Hux was too stunned to speak or to complain. Finally, when he snapped out of it, he pointed his finger at Ren's naked chest.

“It's inappropriate,” he said.

“Not as much as it could be,” Ren smirked as he neared towards Hux and his hands landed on his hips. “I warned you that once we'll get married I want the whole you – your body and your soul and I won't settle for any less.” Hux didn't try to push him away, knowing it was useless. He could see as Ren's eyes darkened.

“But we are not married yet,” he reminded the other man. For a moment it seemed that Ren wanted to complain and Hux was prepared to fight back. Even though Ren didn't do anything to harm Hux, it was clear what he wanted. Hux wasn't prepared to trust him in any way, aware that this was just a game and men like Ren wanted to gain power.

Ren sighed but let Hux go. “True,” he admitted. “But soon we'll be.” He walked past him and poured himself a cup of coffee. “I was informed that you won't be accompanying me to my meetings today,” he said out of the blue and only after that looked at Hux.

Hux shifted in his seat. “Yes,” he murmured. “My father wanted to talk to me about the wedding.” He hoped that Ren didn't notice that his voice wavered. For once he would prefer to accompany Ren than sit face to face to Brendol, especially because he knew what his father wanted from him. Ren, despite his many flaws, at least seemed to enjoy the way Hux opposed him at any given time and without a complaint allowed him to say his thoughts out loud. It seemed that Ren enjoyed having someone who told him the truth without fear and perhaps that was the reason why Hux was still alive. His father, on the other hand, had certain expectations when it came to his son and Hux knew that this marriage was a blessing from Heaven for Brendol and there was no way he would allow Armitage to fuck it up.

In another way, if Ren decided that he wasn't interested in the skinny ginger anymore, Hux didn't doubt he would live long enough to see whom might Ren chose as next.

Ren didn't argue this time though. He shrugged. “I'll leave you to that then,” he said and Hux wanted to scream at him that this was unfair, that he would rather sit through thousands of meetings than to be with his father. He didn't dare to show his distress and Ren, without actively looking for it, was unable to notice it. “I suppose we'll meet each other at the dinner,” Ren continued and walked into their shared bedroom to dress up. Hux could hear him talking but he didn't pay much attention until Ren emerged, this time wearing his full uniform and stopped in front of Hux. “Are you listening to me?” he asked with a head cocked to the side and though he seemed annoyed, he wasn't angry yet.

Hux looked at him because he didn't know what Ren was talking about. “I got lost in the thought,” he admitted. “Care to repeat what you were saying?” He turned his head towards his caf and drank deeply while Ren kept glaring at him.

“I was invited for a short visit of Canto Bright.” He straightened his uniform. “My Generals find the idea of me being accompanied by my fiancé fitting so I agreed to take you along.” He sighed and Hux knew what he wasn't going to like Ren's next words. “However, I wanted to warn you that I won't be humiliated by your refusal to submit me in the public. If anything goes wrong and you'll be the reason why my punishment will be severe. Do you understand?” Ren tapped Hux's cheek and waited until Hux nodded. Then he pulled away.

“Very well.”

He left Hux standing all alone in the middle of the kitchen.

*

Just like expected, Brendol Hux didn't seem pleased when his son entered his office. Hux, who already expected this closed the behind himself and took his seat in front of his father's desk. Brendol was staring into his datapad, ignoring his son's presence. His expression spoke of his irritation and Armitage knew that a long conversation was awaiting him.

While his father wasn't looking, he placed his hands into his lap and allowed himself to relax for a short moment. Ren sent him a short goodbye before he left for his meeting and even went that far to kiss Hux's cheek and with a smirk wish him a nice day. Hux knew that his face was red when Ren stepped away but he wasn't angry at the other man despite the inappropriate kiss. He found himself enjoying Ren's presence more and more and despite his intentions being crystal clear – there was no doubt that he wanted to fuck Hux and Hux was preparing himself to allow him that. It was still a better choice than being left in the devices of his father. At least Ren seemed to care about his well-being.

Finally, Brendol pushed his datapad away with a sigh. “I think you know why I wanted to speak to you,” he murmured, his voice cold and distant. “How are things going with the Supreme Leader?”

Hux made sure to keep his expression neutral. “Very well, father. He is starting to trust me. He wants me too. I doubt he would get rid of me now, so shortly before the wedding.” Those were the right words to say and yet his father's expression darkened.

“Is that so?” Brendol asked threateningly. “I heard something completely different.” He shifted in his seat and Hux knew what was coming his way. “I do believe I did explain to you the importance of keeping the Supreme Leader's interest on you.”

Hux nodded. He knew it was crucial for his father's survival. He didn't doubt that the High Command was looking for any means to get rid of Brendol and Ren's sudden interest in his son made things complicated and yet Brendol knew that this way he was protected. He wouldn't give up this chance even if it meant he had to personally ensure that his son would submit to the Supreme Leader's wishes. His son was well aware of it and the darkness in his father's eyes told him that he will be reminded of that.

“I don't think you understood me back then. Maybe I should repeat myself.”

“There's no need for that, father,” Hux did his best to calm Brendol down even though he himself felt anxious. His hands were trembling and Hux balled them into fists, trying to hide his fright. Not even Ren who was his superior terrified him this much. Perhaps because Ren not once touched him in a way that could be described as hurtful. Ren was careful with Hux, showing that he was annoyed but he never did anything that could prove to Hux that his fiancé could possibly enjoy his pain. “I do understand the importance of this marriage.”

“Not well enough!” Brendol barked and stood up.

Hux flinched in his seat. He couldn't prevent himself from showing off his terror. It was a mistake, knowing that his father was after his fear, loved its smell, loved when his victims covered in front of him. Brendol was otherwise a weak man, enjoying the violence inflicted on the others. In fact, he was the worst of the weakest men.

Hux wasn't quick enough. His father grabbed the front of his uniform and pulled. It forced Hux to stand up and his hands weakly reached to push Brendol aside but before he could do so, his father's hand collided with his cheek. Hux gasped for air and blood rushed into his face. He knew that his eyes widened despite the fact that he expected that blow. He would have lost his balance if Brendol wasn't holding him upright.

“You stupid boy! If you fail in this I will have no mercy. You think this is about your choice, of course, it isn't. You are the payment. I don't care what you'll have to endure. I was told that you are testing the Supreme Leader's patience. You clearly are forgetting yourself.”

“Father – “

Hux wasn't sure what he wanted to say in his defense. He didn't expect Brendol to stand on his side or to choose him for that matter. He knew there was no way he could outrun his destiny and it made him wonder why he tried to so. It didn't matter in the end.

Brendol's eyes narrowed when his son spoke. He wasn't used to Hux's resistance. “Don't test my patience, boy!” Hux paled and started shaking his head. He raised his hands up in of himself just to shield his body from his father's abuse but it didn't help him one bit. Brendol hit him with his fist into the stomach. Hux moaned in pain and when his father let go of the front of his uniform, he fell on his knees. He wrapped his hands around his middle in an attempt to soothe his pain. He coughed and saw as more blood spilled on the ground, mixing with the tears rolling down his cheeks. Brendol still wasn't done.

He grabbed Hux's hair and forced him to look at him.

He observed his son's bleeding face. For a moment he regretted he didn't hit Hux somewhere where no one would be able to see the damage. “You are disgusting,” he grumbled after he took a deep breath to calm down his rage. “A whore just like your mother.” Hux's eyes widened. His body tensed at the mention of his mother but he didn't fight back. He was too used to submitting to pain, aware that there was nothing that could help him. He hung lifelessly in his father's grasp, barely able to choke down his sobs.

He had problems with breathing, his mouth was filled with blood he kept swallowing. His stomach was twisting upside-down. “I am warning you for the last time. I'll tell you what exactly you're going to do. I want you to return into your quarters and wash yourself. Cover your bruises if you have to. I will not have you showing your weakness in front of the Supreme Leader. Dress up. Submit to him. He wants you, I have no idea why but he wants you. I don't care if he demands you to spread your legs just to keep him sated. That's your job now, after all. And if you refuse, I will come and I will keep your legs open myself just to ensure this marriage.” He tugged at Hux's hair one last time and Hux hissed in pain. He swallowed his own blood.

“Do you understand?“

Hux nodded. But Brendol was far from being satisfied.

“What do you say?”

“Yes sir,” Hux murmured as tears continued to roll down his cheeks.

*

Hux ended up locking himself in the fresher. His hands were shaking and his body ached. It felt like Brendol broke every single bone in his body. He fell on his knees and curled into himself on the cold floor of the fresher, shaking and uncontrollably crying for what felt like hours. He knew that he didn't have to fear that Ren might come. He was still at the meeting. Hux was glad because he didn't want to be seen at his worst.

He didn't doubt that Ren wouldn't be able to offer him any comfort. He felt stupid now. He hoped that this marriage would be his way out but it seemed that his connection to Ren was just trapping him within the First Order. Hux knew that he was better than this. He was a better man, deserved to become a General, not some kind of whore. He was smart, his only role shouldn't be keeping his legs spread like a good little husband.

His hands balled into fists and he didn't hesitate when he started punching the floor. He didn't feel any pain until he was done and notice that he knuckles were blood now. The floor didn't look any better. He stared down in shock for a few minutes and then licked his dry lips. He still needed to get ready, to wash away the blood currently covering him. He pushed off his uniform, not minding the cold and threw his clothes away.

It felt wrong to wear uniforms. He wasn't an officer after all, at least anymore. Perhaps Brendol was right, he was just a whore and Ren must have seen it too. Perhaps that's why he chose him. Hux gritted his teeth and turned on the shower. He didn't immediately step in, instead, he wrapped his hands around his naked body and shook in the middle of the fresher, not wanting to move or to life anymore. At some point, he felt completely numb. He felt his pain and it greater with every movement he made. The best way how one got rid of pain was to completely ignore it.

Hux entered the shower. He didn't bother to put on lukewarm water and instead enjoyed as freezing water fell down on his broken body. It felt good, not to feel anything all of a sudden. He choked on another sob that threatened to escape his lips and instead grabbed the soap and started to clean himself. He didn't mind that he was unnecessarily rough, the point was to be absolutely clean. He watched the pink water underneath his feet. Soon his lips turned blue and yet he continued with cleaning his skin until it was red and sensitive and still it felt like it wasn't enough. At some point, he couldn't even tell if he was still crying or if it was water now rolling down his cheeks. He turned off the shower, stepped out and neared towards the mirror.

He noticed the bruises first. The biggest one was on his chest. Each breath he took hurt him. Hux wondered if Brendol managed to damage his lungs but at least he wasn't coughing blood. Even if he was, he wouldn't mind at all, probably making a decision not to go to MedBay. His hands were still violently shaking. He attempted to brush his hair and noticed a small bruise on his cheek. It wasn't that visible.

He reached into the cabinet over the sink and quickly found what he was looking for. He didn't use make-up often but sometimes it was necessary to hide the evidence of his father's anger. He didn't want Ren to see it. It would only prove that Hux was too weak to defend himself and no matter what he said to himself, he was terrified of losing Ren's interest. He had an idea what would Brendol do to him if Ren decided one day that he didn't need Hux anymore. It would hurt, more than these bruises, more than slaps and constant abuse. Hux knew that he would mean nothing, absolutely nothing and his father would make everything his power to get rid of him.

He worked quickly, efficiently, focusing on the task at the hand. He covered the bruise, hoping that Ren won't be able to notice it. Then came the hardest part. He leaned over the sink and stared into his reflection, willing himself to calm down. He was aware that Ren was a mind-reader and he didn't want the other man to know about his distress and the terror he was still feeling. It would be a mood killer and Hux already made up his mind that he would make Ren fall in love with him, making sure that he would keep him even if it meant that he would allow Ren do to anything he wanted with him from now on.

Ren certainly seemed eager. He liked touching Hux, liked brushing his hips and kissing him. Hux was sure that Ren planned to fuck him and the only thing that kept preventing him from it was Hux's wish to remain untouched until the wedding. But now… Perhaps it could be a reason to keep Ren, if he perhaps spread his legs and gave Ren what he wanted from the beginning, Ren wouldn't have any doubt anymore.

Hux felt as his stomach clenched. He wasn't against sexual encounter but he hoped that his first time would be with someone he cared about not someone he was sold to. He brushed his hair and tried to smile. His smile looked tense. It wouldn't do. He tried again and again until he felt like that his face natural enough and his fear was well-hidden. Only then he grabbed his dirty clothes and threw them away and cleaned the floor. He was sure that Ren would otherwise ask him too many questions if he found blood in the fresher.

Naked he then walked into the bedroom and found for himself a shirt and a pair of loose trousers. It didn't matter how he looked like, they were easy to tear off. He forced himself to relax and sat down on the bed. He was hungry but didn't want to call for a droid to bring him any food, instead, he opted to wait for Ren. He still wasn't feeling like himself. His fear was paralyzing him. He was foolish when he tried to go against Ren, hoping he could gain something from it. It was not his place, his father was right. Hux's role in all of this was clear. Ren didn't choose him to love him and appreciate him. This was all different.

Hux remembered the first time he kissed a boy. He was fifteen at that time. He still remembered his father's punishment that made him realize that something was wrong with him. He quickly brushed away the tears that gathered in his eyes. He promised to himself that he won't make any mistake anymore. He'll start again. He would make sure that Ren needed him.

He heard as the door on the other side of their shared quarters opened. Ren must have noticed Hux's boots in the living room because he called out: “Armitage? Are you here?”

“Yes.” Hux forced himself to smile. He knew that he was still stiff but he hoped that Ren won't notice. “In the bedroom.” He paused. Took a shaky breath. Then added: „ _Darling_.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Brendol finally managed to break Hux.


	5. Chapter 5

Ren hated official visits.

In all fairness, he came to hate Canto Bright too. His schedule was constantly busy and he was always meant to meet someone. At some point, he started enjoying the quiet evenings when he sat perched on the balcony and observed the glittering lights of the city beneath him. He learned that Hux preferred red wine to brandy, unlike Ren and though his fiancé barely joined him, Ren always made sure to leave a glass for Hux after he would finish his usual shower.

There something amiss with Hux.

Ren was convinced it was just another strategy, aware that Hux's mind was always working and that he was just trying to make Ren soften to him. He was spending more and more time in Ren's presence and though he was required to do it, this time he kept his opinions to himself and rarely argued. Even if he did, he bit his tongue, keeping the sharp words locked inside of his mouth.

Ren watched him struggling and he found it amusing at first. He was curious where it would take them. He didn't think he created a certain alliance with Hux after he got rid of Jaq and as he suspected, it still wasn't enough to make his fiancé trust him. Days passed and Hux held himself back as if pushing himself into the background. Ren wondered what Hux was planning on doing next and briefly contemplated with the idea to have a peak but quickly decided against it.

This tension, not knowing what Hux will do next was what made him so interesting. It left Ren guessing, struggling to find out more about Hux's complicated thoughts.

He briefly turned his head to the side when he heard nearing steps. Hux joined him, holding a glass of wine Ren left behind. His hair was still wet from the shower which was unusual because Hux liked to dry himself completely but Ren thought that the reason might be an especially warm day that left Hux looking for a way to cool himself down.

Hux leaned against the railing. Ren focused on his long legs and observed as the muscle beneath Hux's skin flexed when he bent forward, subtly sipping from his drink. Only then, when Hux turned around and the air gently brushed his hair, Ren realized that Hux wasn't wearing his usual attire. He exchanged the confines of his uniform for a robe that was loosely wrapped around his body, tied around his middle so it wouldn't slip down.

When he moved, Ren could see his long pale neck and the collar bones peeking from beneath. He was pale, beautiful as ever.

Ren gulped down his brandy in one go and crossed his legs. “I expected you to come later tonight,” he murmured. It was not always compulsory for Hux to join Ren in meetings so he was left to wander the city on his own and often stayed out longer until the sky turned black. “How was your trip?”

“It wasn't a trip,” Hux weakly protested. But he considered Ren's question. “It was enjoyable. But the weather is too warm here.” He shrugged. Ren saw that his cheeks were a bit red and he deducted that Hux's skin wasn't used to such much sunlight. Just like that he shifted, leaving place for Hux to sit down next to him.

His fiancé raised an eyebrow. “Is this a command?” he asked. Ren observed him quietly for a moment.

“I am forcing you to sit next to me. What's the point? I don't want a puppy,” Ren answered honestly. “I just didn't think you would want to stand now that you've joined me.”

“How considerate of you,” Hux uttered, took a gulp from his wine and sat down. Ren suspected that he was nervous and that the alcohol managed to help him get through it. He wasn't sure why Hux felt that way. They were together before, kissed even and though Hux didn't seem to be eager to repeat it, he enjoyed Ren's touches.

“How did the meeting go?” Hux turned his head and then lowered it down, suddenly acting very unsure. He glanced down at the glass he was holding and pressed his lips into a thin line. Ren couldn't help but notice that his wet hair clung to his forehead.

“It's always the same.” The people surrounding him feared his power and Ren doubted that this visit was more than just a way to get on his good side. He got everything he wanted and yet he missed the excitement of being forced to do something for it. Perhaps that was the reason why he enjoyed Hux's presence so much. It excited him to know that there was someone who was able to fight back, refusing to bend when Ren commanded it. Despite his threats, Ren wasn't about to get rid of that part of Hux.

Hux chuckled. “Well. Now you have everything. I wouldn't be surprised if they wanted to crown you and call you Emperor.” Something flashed inside his eyes, something dangerous, bittersweet. Ren knew about Hux's desires to have the crown on his head, be the ruler of his own Empire. He didn't doubt that the other man was still daydreaming even though his position now drastically changed. Those were the desires Hux kept hidden, even from himself and reached for them once in a while, before he returned them behind the locked door in the back of his mind. Ren supposed that he shouldn't have known about them. But well, he knew about most of Hux's secrets…

“Wouldn't you like that? What would that make of you? Perhaps the Emperor's spouse?” He was teasing but Hux didn't know that. His face remained expressionless but Ren saw as his eyes darkened.

“I would be anything you wanted me to be,” Hux reminded him, his tone not lacking in honesty. “I am bound to make you happy, am I not? That will be my duty as your husband?” There was that word that echoed inside of Hux's mind, _glorified whore._

“I thought you told you were more than that,” Ren reminded him, not unkindly. “I could give you your rank back. I could make you the General of my entire fleet. If I wanted to,” he added as an afterthought.

“If you wanted to,” Hux echoed, his eyes focused into the distance. He took another sip of his wine. “I think it's going to cost me dearly,” he murmured, tone suddenly soft. “There is no need for that. I know my place now. What's the point of trying to win a fight I am destined to lose?”

Ren straightened in his seat. Those words sent shivers running down his spine. “What do you mean?” he asked, not liking the way Hux said it. Hux turned towards him, drank the rest of his wine and Ren noticed that his cheeks were nicely flushed. He was no sure that it wasn't from the sun. Hux opened his mouth but before Ren could speak, he kissed him. It wasn't like the kisses they shared before. This was full of fire, forcing Ren to fight back and win over Hux. Once it happened, Hux opened his mouth willingly as if he was obeying a command. Ren's hands shot up and wrapped around Hux's middle. He tried to press him closer and suddenly realized that Hux was in his lap.

He pulled away and gazed at the man in front of him. Hux looked like a mess. He was shaking, panting and saliva was dripping down his chin. His eyes glittered. Ren focused on his long pale neck before Hux leaned down again and tangled his fingers into Ren's hair, bring him closer until he slammed Ren's face into the crook of his throat. “Kiss me. Bite me,” he begged, his voice crisp. Ren complied, suddenly feeling very hot and opened his mouth. At first, he tried to be soft, nipping Hux's skin but when Hux painfully tugged at his hair, he bit down hard.

Perhaps too hard. Blood started filling his mouth and Ren panicked. He relaxed his jaw but couldn't pull away. Hux was holding him in place. “Don't go anywhere!” the man above him whispered. “Take me. Do whatever you want with me. I know you want this. I know you want to possess me. I am yours, Supreme Leader.”

Ren shook his head and his hands gently brushed Hux's spine, forcing the other man to arch. He used his left hand to reach behind himself, touch Hux's fingers now tangled in his hair and pulled them away, gently and then insisting. Finally, he was able to pull away and brushed his mouth, aware that blood still clung to his lips. Hux lowered down his gaze. His robe slipped down, revealing the bloody bite on the side of his neck. Ren pressed his palm against it and shushed Hux when the other man hissed in pain and tensed.

“I apologize,” Ren said. “I didn't want to hurt you. I got carried away.” He still wasn't sure what happened. He disliked hurting his partners during sex, he liked receiving and giving pleasure in return. But not this. This was too violent. It wasn't like him at all.

Hux trembled. His hair messily fell on his forehead, covering his eyes. His thighs were spread, now pressed against Ren's sides. Ren could feel the heat radiating from Hux's skin. He felt drunk, his senses were highlighted. “I think that we both had too much to drink,” he murmured. He couldn't bring himself to push Hux away, not just yet. “Perhaps we should do this when we are both sober.”

“What's your problem?” Hux suddenly growled and raised his head, showing his face. His eyes were filled with tears and soon they started rolling down his cheeks. He balled his hands into fists and hit Ren into the center of his chest.

“I don't get it! You talk about how much you want to fuck me and I am sitting here, now, almost naked and I bet you are hard in your pants and yet…YET!” He wasn't far from the truth. Ren was hard, aching. It took all his willpower not to open his pants and have Hux right here and right now. “FUCK ME! It's your right to do so. So do it! I know you want it!” He leaned closer and Ren understood that he was trying to kiss him again.

“Hux,” he murmured. “Armitage, stop this!”

His hands wrapped around Hux's wrists. He kept his fiancé unmoving in his lap. “I don't have any right over you right now. Not while you're my fiancé. We are still not officially married.”

“You told me I was yours,” Hux sneered. He tried to free himself but his trashing only caused that his robe slid lower and uncovered both of his shoulders and pooled around his chest. Ren sighed, let go of Hux's hands and moved it so Hux was covered once again. It wasn't that the pale skin wasn't tempting but the state in which Hux was in wasn't exactly desirable.

“It doesn’t mean that I want to fuck you like this. I want to sleep with you, Armitage. I told you so before but I hoped that the situation would be different. I could make it pleasurable for you. Perhaps on our wedding night. I would make you enjoy the pleasure but I wouldn't force you. I hoped that by that time we would be comfortable around each other. You are to become my husband! Not my whore.”

Hux shook his head in disbelief. “You are playing with me. I know you are. You wanted this!” His breathing quickened. Ren quickly pressed him against his chest and brushed his hair, trying to calm his down before Hux would succumb to his panic.

“Think of me whatever you want,” he said, keeping his tone serious. “But I am no rapist. I don't take my partners to bed when they are clearly unwilling, drinking wine like it was water just to calm down their nerves.”

Hux started crying. Ren could hear him trying to swallow his sobs but he was clearly too distressed to get himself under control.

“What do you want from me then?” Hux asked, hiccupping once he calmed himself down a bit so that Ren was capable of understanding his words.

“I liked the way how things were before. I don't need you broken, being afraid of me.” Hux flinched. “There is no way for you to change in any way. I still expect you to continue on with your duties but…” Ren sighed. It was such a strange feeling to care about someone else. He's never thought that he would feel it for Hux. “What made you change your mind?” he asked suddenly. “I thought that you were going to oppose me until the end of time. Don't tell me that your strategy was to submit to me and get yourself fucked. I thought you were better than that.”

It was clearly a wrong thing to say because Hux stiffened before he pushed Ren away and stood up, angrily straightening his robes. He brushed away his tears with the back of his hand and his eyes hardened again. “You are impossible,” he hissed, voice shaking. “You think that this makes you better than some rapist? Do you think I would want to sleep with you after all this?! You are just like everybody else. The only difference is that you try to hide your cruelty. Just because you didn't fuck me right now doesn't mean you did a good thing!” Hux took a step back but stumbled. Ren rose from his seat as well. He was frowning now, gritting his teeth together.

“You are not that special, Armitage. And you are crossing the line right now!”

Hux bared his teeth at him. He suddenly reminded Ren the first time they met each other in person. He looked just as afraid back then as he did now. Blind with anger, Ren didn't pay it any attention. “I could have had you any moment now. I didn't come begging. It was you, your own choice to spread your legs. I didn't force you into anything.”

“You FORCED me into this! I didn't want to marry you in the first place. You could have chosen anyone else.”

Ren shook his head. “You think your life would have been better? If I didn't choose you, your father would get rid of you anyway. He was just waiting for the right moment. If it wasn't my bed you are supposed to warm, it would be someone else's. And don't think they would wait this long to put up with your attitude.” Ren stepped forward. He knew that he wasn't thinking rationally. He should have told Hux to leave, they both were slightly drunk. “What did you think? That if you weren't to marry me, you'll be free to do as you want? No. There is no freedom for someone like you. You are not even supposed to be an officer. Your father should have made you into a Trooper a long time ago. You are a bastard, nothing more or less.”

Hux growled and then slapped Ren across the face. His smaller body was twitching violently. Ren remained standing stunned. He couldn't remember the last time someone dared to raise their hand against him.

“Be quiet!” Hux murmured. It was clear that Ren hit the bull's eye. His shoulders were slumped. He raised his hand to brush away the blood on his neck. “You don't understand anything!” Ren hated him at that moment. He wanted to hurt him, he wanted to be the reason for Hux's tears.

“You are desperate, aren't you? For love, for affection. I can see it every time I touch you, kiss you. You will never be loved, not by me or anyone in this entire galaxy. Look at yourself! How could anyone ever fall in love with you?” He laughed cruelly, not meaning any of those words. He saw as Hux stiffed but his joy didn't last for long. It was over. Hux didn't say a word, he just stared at Ren, tears rolling down his cheeks. He looked crushed as if Ren screamed the truth he feared right into his face. And Ren felt bad for doing this.

Suddenly, he wasn't angry anymore. He wanted to gather Hux into his arms and comfort him. He moved forward, not thinking and raised his hand, planning to wrap it around Hux's shoulders and lead him inside but he saw as Hux's eyes widened in panic and he flinched. It took Ren a moment to understand that he expected to be hit.

Ren stopped himself and lowered his hand immediately. “No,” he said softly. “Armitage. I won't hit you. I am not like the rest.” He could tell that he wasn't the first man Hux's feared in his life. “I want to apologize. I should not have said it.”

Ren knew that it was still not enough. Hux just shook his head and hurriedly walked inside. Ren could hear as he slammed the door behind him. The silence was suddenly unbearable. Ren fell down on his knees and gritted his teeth. He slapped his fist against the floor. He heard as his knuckles cracked but he didn't mind the pain. For the first time in a long time, Ren felt regret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As they say, things have to get worse before they get better lol. Ren fucked up a bit in this chapter. He's starting to care about Hux but it took him a long time to realize that :(


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! It's been a long it, hasn't it? I published the last chapter in January I think.
> 
> In all honesty, I needed a break from writing. Actually, I was convinced that I am done and that I won't write anymore. I really missed writing though and I decided to give it a try and return back. I am sorry if my skills are a bit rusty but I am really with the outcome of this chapter (it turned out better than I hoped it to be after such a long time lol).

Hux stepped back in shock.

His hand was a bloody mess but it seemed that it were the shreds of glass rather than the impact itself that injured him. True, the cut looked messy but he doubted that he was bleeding enough to fear any serious blood loss. He stepped back with a sigh, so used to being hurt that his own injured hand didn't even bother him and kicked into pieces of glass scattered across the floor with the tip of his boot.

“Sir?”

Hux raised his head just in time to see Phasma standing in the doorway, her expression covered by a mask and he could not tell whether she was shocked to see him like that that or not. “Should I bring medical kit?” she asked but didn't move towards him.

“No,” he shook his head. “It's fine.”

But nothing was fine, not even close to fine. “Stop staring at me!” he raised his voice. “Don't you have anything else to do?” He felt angry at himself for allowing his frustration to get a better of him. He was usually able to bite his tongue instead of showing his emotions this freely but… The truth was that since his encounter with Ren, he hasn't been feeling like himself. Damn Ren for his stupid antics! Why couldn't he just fuck Hux when he offered himself? Thing would have been so much easier now.

He shook his head and walked past Phasma. “Call someone to clean this up.” He almost said that he wanted to return back on the Bridge but he stopped himself at the last moment. It was easier to hide in his quarters because he knew that no one would come looking after him here. He was still Ren's fiancé after all, even though he had gone against his orders and had returned back on the ship instead of continuing to play the part of being Ren's whore.

Hux was still bitter about it. Or more clearly, he couldn't understand his emotions anymore. On one hand, he remained relatively untouched and could be glad that he hadn't woken up in Ren's bed. It was a matter of his pride rather than anything else. But being rejected after Ren's advances, it stung even though there was absolutely no reason for it. Hux tried to convince himself that he wasn't thirsting after Ren's attention towards him and yet he found himself fantasizing about being taken that night instead of being humiliated.

Ren hadn't tried to contact him afterward and Hux took it as a dismissal. That made things even worse. He expected demand to return back on Canto Bight as soon as possible and he didn't know what to make of Ren's silence. And now, to make things even worse, Ren was about to return back aboard the ship.

Zara had already voiced out that it would be proper if Hux was there to greet him but Hux had refused that idea right away. He would not ask for Ren's forgiveness because it was Ren who was wrong, it was all his fault.

He moved into the kitchen and started methodically cleaning his hand. He tried to flex his finger and hissed when he felt the familiar sting of pain that traveled from his palm up to his arm. Once he was sure that the cut won't need any stitches, he simply let it be but didn't dare to move his hand yet. Because he was unable to use it properly and didn't want to dirty his clothes, he was forced to wait with his jacket still open. It was frustrating, being aware that he didn't look like a perfect soldier he aimed to be.

Phasma came to him later and as always decided that she would rather stand a few meters behind him than come any nearer. “Sir,” she said, her mechanical voice completely emotionless. “Supreme Leader arrived just a few moments ago.”

Hux checked his datapad. No summons. How strange, he thought with a frown before he dismissed her. “You can leave me alone,” he said. He was getting used to being on his own. He's never realized how lonely he was before Ren came along. It was hard to admit that Hux found himself enjoying Ren's attention when the Supreme Leader was in the mood. He usually kissed the back of Hux's hands just in order to fluster him. Yet despite it, Hux looked down at his palms and his stomach tightened when he realized that he was once again yearning for Ren's touch.

Perhaps was his father right, Hux was after all useless. He lost this game and his own body was now betraying him. He felt sick and angry. It was not fair! He didn't want any of this to happen. He hoped that Ren would lose interest in him after a few weeks and not that he would end this pathetically, not being able to sleep or eat or even think straight. He was idiot, this was unlike him, he behaving almost like… like his _mother._

His gritted his teeth in annoyance. His father's already told him everything about her and didn't skip the details of how she had begged him to sleep with her. Perhaps it suited him now, to be called a son of a whore because he truly was one.

Hux stood up and moved to his bedroom where he flopped down on the bed. Still no summons. Did it mean that Ren had no use for him? It was true that Hux was nothing without the support of the Supreme Leader. His father would have sold him anyway and more likely not into a position of power such as the place of being Ren's husband offered. What will happen to him though? Hux thought that if Ren decided that he didn't want this marriage, he would never be able to return back and act as before. He doubted he would get such a chance though. If Brendol found out what happened…

Hux knew that he was acting cowardly. He still remembered the last encounter with his father and how it went. The bruises scattered on his body were mostly faded now but the memories were still vivid, perhaps too vivid for his own taste. He was very well used to Brendol's beating and often had to deal with the consequences all alone. He didn't mean for Ren to witness the phase when he locked himself into his mind and acted on instinct rather than thought about his actions. He didn't think that the other man had noticed that something was wrong, Ren could be really obvious when there was no time for it.

What did Hux hope for anyways? That Ren would find out about his father's abuse and save him? They were not equals, Hux made a mistake to even consider it for the briefest moment. Ren claimed that Hux was not his whore but Hux saw the matter differently. Did Ren really think he did him a favor when they didn't fuck? It was only an inconvenience and nothing more. Hux now had to avoid his father because he knew that their next conversation would be even more violent. If Ren decided that he didn't want to marry Hux, Hux knew that his father would kill him.

That's how he realized that he was stuck and could not make any move. There was no doubt that Ren would come for him one way or another and Hux already knew that surely he would be killed for his insolence rather than mildly punished.

Stupid! Stupid!

He thought he was better than that. He was supposed to be able to survive at any cost rather than play a victim again. Hux didn't want to be killed carelessly like one would kill a bug. He didn't last for this long only to be discarded and forgotten.

He reached behind his belt and drew his blaster. Still no request from Ren, no demand to meet him. He must have been aboard of the ship, Hux was sure of it. Or perhaps was Phasma wrong and the Supreme Leader was still on Canto Bight.

His datapad vibrated. A single message popped up on the screen and Hux bitterly laughed. _Mention the devil…_ He opened it and had to read it multiple times to understand its meaning. It was from Ren but those weren't summons, it was a mere question whether he was alone. Hux frowned and decided not to answer. It was a strange question, a stupid one. He brought the blaster towards his chest. He didn't plan to kill himself but it felt nice to hold his trusted weapon in his hand. His thumb gently brushed the trigger and Hux found himself thinking about the last time he killed someone. Was it with his blaster or his dagger? He couldn't tell. His datapad vibrated again but Hux didn't even glance in its direction.

Instead, he pushed the blaster up and rested its barrel against his cheek. The coldness of his weapon grounded him.

“Put that down!”

Hux's head snapped up in shock and he almost pressed the trigger. Well, he would have pressed it if he could move his hand. His fingers were frozen in place and it weren't just his fingers but his entire body too. His eyes widened almost comically when Ren entered his bedroom and came close enough to take away the blaster and toss it behind him. It landed with a heavy thud and if Hux would, he would have sneered at the man towering now above him.

“Are you mad?” he asked him. He looked great, fucking better than Hux felt. Hux wanted to hit him, stab him too. “You could have killed yourself!”

Ren grabbed his chin. “What is wrong with you, Armitage?” Hux would have answered him if he could move. Ren knew it, of course, he did that bastard. “It's dangerous to play with weapons.” He took a step back before he released Hux from his hold. Hux took a shaky breath and then he sneered at the man in front of himself. He noticed as Ren reached behind his belt and he instinctively moved towards the Supreme Leader, dagger sliding from underneath his sleeve and moving through the air as the extension of his arm.

Ren must have noticed his sudden movement too late because he only barely escaped from having his throat cut open. He grabbed Hux's forearm and twisted it behind his back. Hux kicked him into his shin in return and tried to escape his grip but Ren's other hand wrapped around his middle and spun him around. He found himself pressed against Ren's broader chest while heavily panting. Ren grabbed the dagger and threw it on the floor too.

“What the fuck?!” he screamed and Hux could tell that he didn't expect to be attacked. Hux took it as an invitation to start squirming but too soon understood that he wouldn't be allowed to move unless Ren wanted that.

“You did this!” Hux cried in frustration. He knew that his cheeks were flushed red and that sudden movement messed his hair. “I know that you were planning to kill me! Do you think I am stupid! I saw you reaching for you lightsaber…”

Ren sighed. “I didn't come here to kill you,” he said calmly and in the next moment tossed Hux on the bed. Hux pushed himself up on his elbows. He eyed the other man dangerously.

“So what?!” he barked when he caught his breath. “Now you are in the mood? Well, I am not.”

Ren tossed his lightsaber next to Hux. “Don't touch it!” he warned him. “Or I will cut you both hands. You don't need them anyway!” He took off his gloves. “And no. I am not in the mood to fuck you while you are such a mess.”

It was almost enough to make Hux jump at him again.

“You left me on Canto Bight alone,” Ren grumbled, evidently irritated. “I get it that I deserved it for being a jerk but still…”

Hux's eyes widened. “What are you talking about?”

“We both know that I crossed the line,” Ren said to him as next. “I wanted…” He growled in frustration and balled his hands into fists. “I owe you an apology. I said things I shouldn't have.” He sat down on the bed and for the first time looked like a stranger to Hux. He didn't look vulnerable no, but he did look apologetic.

Hux eyed him suspiciously. He wasn't sure if Ren meant those words. “I thought that you would come here to…” He couldn't explain himself properly. “What do you want from me?” He didn't expect Ren to be suddenly romantic and that didn't happen. Hux felt relieved because he wouldn't know how to react and yet at the same time, his body clearly demanded to be touched by Ren. His cock was half-hard in his pants after being held pressed against Ren's chest and unable to move. It was a nice feeling, true but at that time Hux had believed to be killed. He shouldn't be aroused by such things… it felt wrong, it was sick.

Just the idea of growing fully hard with the danger of being killed by Ren lurking over his head was alarming.

“Don't play an idiot now!” Ren growled. The soft moment was gone and Hux understood that he won't be getting any other apology. “I am still marrying you. It would be stupid to change my plans and I already invested too much time and effort into you. I would marry you just to make you hate me more.” He paused. Then looked at Hux with a strange seriousness mirroring in his eyes. “´What had happened back then?”

Hux stared at him. “What do you mean?”

“You had been begging me to fuck you!” Ren exclaimed and threw his hands into the air. “That's unlike you.”

“I remember that you had refused me.”

“Did I hurt your feelings?” Ren mocked him. “Fine then, take off your clothes if that's what you want. I will fuck you now.” He reached up to push Hux's jacket from his shoulders but Hux stopped him by grabbing his hands.

“I am not in the mood!” he repeated.

For one terrifying movement he feared that Ren would ignore his complaint. But the Supreme Leader only smirked. “You are such a complicated person, Armitage,” he said in a much softer tone. Hux didn't know what to say. He disliked the idea of being fucked just because Ren wanted to prove his point. And that was worrisome because he wasn't exactly against… against sleeping with Ren. He gritted his teeth in annoyance and let go of Ren's hands.

“What happened to your palm?” Ren asked him all of the sudden. Hux suddenly remembered his wound.

“The mirror in the fresher broke,” he said with a slight shrug. He couldn't tell what Ren was thinking about when he touched Hux's palm and then all of the sudden pressed his fingers against the cut and held them there until Hux hissed in pain.

“Don't!” Hux said sharply. “It must heal on its own.”

“Do you remember what I told you on Canto Bight?” he asked casually. Hux knew. Of course he knew. He remembered everything Ren had said or had done that night. “I am not like the rest,” he continued. “I have absolutely no idea what had happened back there. But the next time, you will not run away like that. ”

“Is that an order?” Hux asked stiffly.

“Not everything is about orders.”

“You are the Supreme Leader,” Hux reminded him. “What you say is the law here. I sometimes wonder if you truly understand that.”

“I sometimes wonder if you are truly as smart as you pretend to be,” Ren shot right back and hit the bull's eye. Hux envied him for his effortlessness. “Did you think that playing the role of an obedient fiancé would make me soften to you? Or perhaps not. Nothing is as it seems with you, Armitage.” His hand found its way into Hux's hair before it slid down and cupped his cheek. He leaned closer and whispered the next words into Hux's ear. “I will kill your father next.”

Hux felt as his heart stopped beating inside his chest. “W-What?!” he spat out in shock and looked up just to see Ren's expression and he quickly understood that the Supreme Leader was not joking.

“I am not an idiot,” Ren told him. “I know what you think but… You thought that you could hide the bruises? I saw them. I see you all the time and there is nothing you can hide from me. And I don't take lightly when someone touches something that belongs to me. You are not your father's anymore, you are mine and you both better remember it.”

“I don't understand.” Hux for once didn't know what to say. He was used to being good at hiding things but perhaps… he wasn't that subtle. Perhaps people just weren't paying attention but Ren did.

“I connected the dots together after you left,” Ren said carelessly as if he just didn't expose Hux's biggest secret. “Something was amiss with you so I investigated. I was right, wasn't I?” But they both knew that he didn't need Hux's confirmation for that.

“I will kill him,” Ren repeated.

“No,” Hux shook his head. He didn't want that. However, what he truly wanted…”It's my business what will happen to him. Do you understand? Stay out of that.” It was still too soon. Hux's already decided that Brendol needed to die but he needed the right moment for that. He forced Ren to look at him. It almost felt like he held some kind of power over the other man and not the other way around. Well, that's how Hux wanted to feel every day.

Ren didn't seem pleased. “If you wish so,” he relented in the end. “You really are too hard to please.”

“You should have known that I won't be easy.”

Ren pulled away and grabbed his lightsaber. “Yes,” he admitted after a longer pause. “But then you wouldn't be interesting. And you know what I do things that bore me.” He smiled and his eyes turned one shade darker. “I toss them aside and let them die.”


End file.
